A Quiet Sunday (Day 44)

I'm just a waitin' for my doctor to make an appearance today. This is one of the things that drives me the craziest in here-- the waiting for the doctor. Sometimes, he checks me at 7:30 in the morning and other times it's mid to late afternoon. As you know, I abhor the idea of him interviewing me through a shower curtain again... so I just wait.
Spartacus had a doozy of a deceleration with his heart yesterday. The nurse was in here and I kept flipping on to one side, waiting to see if his heart beat would stabilize, then flipping over to the other in the hopes of getting him off his cord. He finally got back on. Byron commented that it only felt like he was off for about a minute. The nurse and I were both like-- are you kidding? It seemed an eternity to me. So we checked it and it was nearly 6 minutes that he was down low. Another prime example of how men and women are just wired differently. Of course, Spartacus looked fine last night and this morning. I think he's just practicing to be a teenager-- to drive me loony.
I was so tired last night. I think I was overloaded with information yesterday. I had my ultrasound and then at 4pm, when Bryon came up for the evening, we were taken on a tour of the NICU. I've been dreading it. But since we've made it to almost 31 weeks-- all the information we were given when we first came in here at 24 weeks has changed.
First of all, it's like Fort Knox to even get into the unit. They currently have 44 babies in there and about a hundred nurses assigned to the unit. Byron found the entire experience comforting. He was impressed by all of the machinery, the set up and lay out of the unit and especially the fact that there seemed to be a nurse with every baby. I, on the other hand, was on the tip of tears for the entire tour. The nurse assigned to show us around kept asking me about my case and then complimenting me on making it this far-- but having to talk about my situation, for some reason was really difficult in that environment.
We didn't go inside any of the rooms, just (me rolled) walked by the doorways. We saw the tiniest little head in one of the incubators. The baby was only 2 lbs. As of yesterday, Spartacus is measuring at nearly 3 pounds (2 lbs 14 oz)... so when I got emotional seeing this tiny little baby, Byron quickly reminded me our little guy is already 1/3 bigger. He's right-- but it was very emotional for me to see where I'll be spending the next chapter of my life.
We asked the nurse what kind of time line we were looking at in there-- of course, it depends on health issues. But on average, if the baby were to be born now, we'd likely have him in NICU for the next 10 weeks, 8 at the best. Ug.
At the end of our extensive tour, we were back out by where you check in and I had it pretty together by then. However, all my emotions went to pot, when a Grandma came running by us sobbing. I know I'll get through the transition to NICU when I have to-- but I know until I get acclimated and my reserves built up-- I'll be a train wreck for the first few days. So once again, I have renewed my resolve to keep doing whatever I need to do to stay on this side of the hospital for as long as possible.
My Saturday night did end on an up note. The nurses let Byron take me on a wheelchair ride after dinner and monitoring. We went just outside the hospital chapel to a little courtyard. It was perfect weather and surrounded by trees and planters, we just relaxed and talked. (Byron says I did 99 percent of the talking-- but those of you who know him well-- know the real truth). Two of my CAP's (nurse assistants) were getting off shift and ended up hanging out with us for an hour. We laughed and laughed. It was a really nice night.