Reincarnated As A Mother

Monday, February 4, 2013


Byron has been calling Kean "Evel" all night.
He always does this when Kean dons these particular pajamas.
I'm sure the girls are clueless as to why.
 Tomorrow, bright and early, we head to the hospital for
his big day.  He's scheduled for a Spinal Tap to put Chemo (once again)
into his spine and brain.... if..... his counts are high enough.
Anyone wanting to place a little wager on what his counts will be?
Just kidding.
But it will be a gamble.
I got a call this afternoon from the hospital telling me if Kean's counts
are high enough he won't be starting the much awaited
Maintenance phase.
Evidently, a while back they re-worked the protocols for these Cancer kids
and forgot to tell -- at least this mom.
He will be starting a 56 day phase... one he's gone through before
called Interim Maintenance.  It's not one of the wicked ones
but it's not pleasant either.  There's a couple of Spinal Taps at least that I remember.
Anyway, my friend April called today and asked me why I wasn't
at least a bit ticked over the big switcheroo.
The only way I could think to explain it, was to tell her about a time
I had taken Kean to the Cancer clinic for blood counts and a meeting with the doctor.
Halfway through the appointment, the doctor announced he wanted to admit Kean
to the hospital because there were too  many red flags.
I just shrugged my shoulders and said okay.
My friend Calene, who was with me, told me later, she couldn't believe how flexible I was in
that I didn't even react.
I corrected her.
I'm not flexible.
I'm broken.
No joke.  I don't think I have any extra energy to raise a stink.
It is what it is.


Deb said...

I don't know that you will want to share this...I plan on you not. You aren't broken - YOU ARE FULL OF FAITH, HOPE AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU AREN'T IN CHARGE of what happens to us in this life. You've learned from past experience, the Lord will take care of you and yours...through your faith. I'm not going to say, 'come what may and love it' because most of the time I really hate it. But I also know that I've seen adversity perform miracles in my life, and in the lives of others. The Savior makes it so we can muddle through all of this with the knowledge we can do it. Love you tons - you are such a huge example to me of so many spiritual gifts you have developed through adversity. <3

Joseph and Kamber said...

My thoughts exactly Deb. You (Lonni) are being buoyed up by a greater power even though some days you don't feel like it.