A Mental Spanking

Okay, so have you ever done something so utterly boneheaded that you spend the rest of the day cringing and telling yourself if only....
Here's my "dork-o-la" entry: We draw names in our family for Christmas. My sister-in-law Rachel had my brother Doug and his family for Christmas. As part of their gift she got them movie tickets-- but she bought them at Costco in Texas. So on Christmas eve, I switched them out with movie tickets bought at Costco here in Idaho (good for Idaho theatres). I put the Texas ones in a card in an envelope and told Rachel I'd stick them in the mail for her.
Meanwhile, my mom decided to ship a big box of homemade candies and treats to them and asked us to ship them. Byron ships so much (well, he did before the economy froze up)-- that he gets a discount with Fed Ex. So here's my boneheaded part. Instead of sticking the card in the mail, like I told her I would be doing-- I had Byron tape it to the outside of the box my mom was sending (so it would be tracked by Fed Ex)-- you know how you do that-- with the card having the address and name on it. Well, I forgot to call Rachel and let her know. I just figured (my big mistake) that she'd see the card and open it.
Now the Austin landfill is six movie tickets richer!!! If only I'd called. AAARRGGGGHHHH!

Gentle Readers I have not forgotten you...

If you don't get my crack about "gentle readers"... that means you are much younger than me! I had all these great plans to post some pictures-- but Byron left the camera (and the pictures I was going to post on it) over at my parents house. So sigh...
My folks are in Vegas. While they are gone, Byron and his brother Craig are fixing a leaky roof and a few other problems with the house. It's so slow at work-- I'm thinkin' maybe they should start up a "Mr. Handyman" business. Remember, Byron's nickname is McGyver-- and between the two the them, they can fix anything!! Really.
Kean had his big 5 month birthday on Sunday. 4 month birthday if you listen to the Doctor's and do the "adjusted age thing". Kinda strange that he still hasn't ventured out much and met many people and here he is already this old. I figure by the time we get around to blessing him (in the LDS church it's like a Christening), he'll be about ready to start dating and driving! We'll just keep plugging along until Spring. Only a few more months.

M.O.Y.

It's official. My mother is (in my eyes) MOTHER OF THE YEAR! Listen to what she's done now! Last night, she and my dad took the three girls for a sleepover. Okay, that may not sound like a big deal to you-- but to me it was sweet, sweet peace. Byron, Kean and I hung out, had a nice dinner and then worked on dubbing over my video tapes to DVD. And there are about a gazillion of them. All those old TV stories (15 years worth)--- aye, yie, yie-- you should see my hair styles! What was really fun though, was watching our wedding video from nearly 11 years ago. It was such fun to see all the friends and relatives and how we've all grown old!!
So that's what I'm doing today. More dubbing.
My mom is taking the girls to see a movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Squeaquel. I'll let you know if she survives.

Christmas Break is over

Bless the hearts of all those teachers out there. You know, the ones teaching my hyper, over stimulated children who have had too much candy, too much free time and too much spoilin' over the break. It's so good to be back into a routine (at least for me). I'm much happier. Plus, it doesn't hurt that our hometown Boise State Broncos won the Fiesta Bowl last night. What a fun game to watch.
Here are a couple of pictures from Holland and Byron's great adventure from Saturday. Just the two of them went up snowmobiling (about broke Reese's heart that she's not big enough). I guess the powder was amazing. They only got stuck once-- but it was a doozy.

This is taken outside our back door-- yesterday morn with the sun coming up and frost everywhere. I think it is so beautiful here.

The mornings are nippy when we cut across our yard and through Grandpa Bodily's to get to the bus. I've been having to pick the girls up in the car the past few days when they get home from school. By afternoon, the ground has turned into oozing mud and its easier for me to load up the little ones in the car and drive down and around to the bus stop-- rather than clean up mud caked shoes.

Keanut had his second Synagis shot the other day. Poor Greer had to wait in the hall because her tender heart didn't want to witness Baby Kean crying. He now weighs 11 pounds and 11 ounces. Home Health Care comes tomorrow so we'll get another weight update. So let's see one appointment tomorrow and two on Thursday and then I'm free for the rest of the week. :)

Musings

I have this thing for poetry written by Lord Byron. Knowing the love of my life is named Byron-- it's not too difficult to figure out why. Anyway, Lord Byron once penned "If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." That's how I'm feeling tonight. I'm a bit blue. I don't know why but I started thinking about those first few days after Kean was born when we first found out the doctors were suspecting Trisomy 21 (and the blood literally froze in my veins). The agony of waiting for confirmation and the nights of wet pillows and wet hair from crying so much. I wonder if it's normal to be traumatized from all that? I read an article a while ago about how parents who had babies in NICU for I think a month or so had tested positive for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I firmly believe that. I still feel scrubbed raw and here we've been home for over three months. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me. I get twinges of sadness and pity for myself when I run to the grocery store (like tonight) and see "typical" baby boys-- all healthy and alert. Kean has these moments where he is on his back and just stares into space for the longest amount of time-- and it frankly depresses me. Other times he will take forever to focus on my face. I guess I'm just feeling vulnerable tonight and needed to vent.
Never have I clung to such tiny milestones as him grasping his bottle, or cooing or smiling. I know everything is much slower and I am so grateful for how wonderful he is doing-- but tonight I'm feeling overwhelmed and are you ready for how silly this will sound???-- I'm worried that everyone will continue to love him as much when he grows out of his cute baby stage and starts growing up. I'm tired of sore breasts and pumping and worrying about germs and his breathing and his congestion and blah, blah, blah.
Okay, sniff, sniff. I've purged most of my black feelings. Some I just have to keep locked up inside. But I've decided tonight--- that I think I'm ready to write down in depth this entire experience that has swallowed up our lives over the past six months. I'm thinking it will be therapeutic and I don't want to forget any of it--- the icky stuff or the sweet miracles. Make me do it, okay?

WELCOME! C'mon in 2010!

For the first time in my life I'm thrilled to see a year come to an end. There were times I wasn't sure we'd make it. And I know I'm not alone in that sentiment. 2009 has been challenging for most of my friends. So PHEW! It's over. Yes, we're still dealing with an anemic business and mountains of hospital bills and several other stressers-- but I'm optimistic that better times are in store. Last night (at 10 o'clock) we toasted the New Year with grape juice (notice the paper towels-- Reese spilled her glass before we even started-- typical) and set individual goals. I guessed on Kean's goal-- it will be to sit up and crawl. We had some decent snow (now it's turned to rain) but that allowed Byron to take the girls for a little spin in the yard.

Next year Kean will be big enough to ride in front. Can't wait.

Happy New Years everybody! And thank you to the 114 of you who emailed Happy Birthday wishes to me. I can't believe I'm soooo old. Sometimes I feel it-- but most of the time I don't even feel old enough (or responsible enough) to be a mother, let alone the mother of four rambunctious kiddos. Yikes. The girls made me the most beeyootiful necklace and earrings out of oh, can we say very colorful beads and jingle bells. I was daring and wore the necklace out to dinner with Byron, my brother Doug and Dana and my parents. My poor nephew Derek watched Kean by himself at my house and I jinxed him by telling him Kean is the easiest baby in the world-- never cries and that he would probably sleep the entire 1 1/2 hours we were gone. WRONG! An hour into my big outing, the phone rings and Kean is screaming bloody murder. Guess he had some gas. And within a few minutes, he let 'er rip and settled down. I wonder if Derek will ever babysit for me again!?!?!?

Christmas Morn

Before we get to the big event-- I had to show you this picture of Reese. She's been telling me lately she wants to be a reindeer when she grows up. So when she came home from preschool with this hat (it says Santa has 9 reindeer now)-- notice the antlers, they're hard to see-- I decided she is well on her way! Holland woke us up at 2:30 a.m.-- 2:24 to be exact. It's burned in my lack of sleep memory. I told her no way-- go back to bed. Thankfully, she did. And Christmas morning didn't come for us until 7:30. Very, very do-able. Here we are at the top of the stairs waiting for the big go from Dad.

Grammy and Grandpa and our dear friends, Mike and Shannon Angus (Mike looks suspiciously like Santa, by the way)... came over and were waiting downstairs. So down the hall we go to the....

chaos and mayhem. Santa somehow did find our house.

The best gifts are always the homemade ones (usually). This year, Holland and Greer both made us calendars at school. Pretty fancy.

Holland's big gift from us-- was moving out of the bedroom she shares with her sister (here's the big farewell) to her own room-- what was our guest room.

Reese then moved into Greer's old bed. Greer took Holland's bed. And Kean got Reese's room. We also moved the playroom upstairs to what was the sitting room outside of the master bedroom. Confused? Me too! We're almost done with the big move. I'll post pictures soon. Meanwhile, here's Reese in her old room-- doing what she does about 12 times a day-- change her clothes!