The Anniversary

What a quiet house we have!

We sent the three girls off this morning to Camp Rainbow Gold's

Cancer Siblings camp.

 It was much easier this time around to say goodbye since we went through it last year.

It took quite a while to get them registered-- between last minute

paperwork, medicine check in... vitals check

 and an examination by one of the nurses (Kean's nurses from the hospital

by the way).  The girls begged me not to take a picture of them getting

their hair checked for lice or their feet checked for fungus.

So here they are just looking excited!

 It's gonna be pretty mellow around here with them gone.

But they were so excited to go back to this wonderful camp.

 Good timing too.

The girls heading to cancer camp marks the exact day

that we have two years of this journey under our belts. 

 Two years!!!  Hard to believe on July 13, 2012

Kean was sicker than sick, on tremendous levels of pain killers

and about to begin the fight for his life.

 What a crazy, horrific, painful, beautiful, educational

and spiritual journey this has been.

The two years really feel like twenty.

And while, if given the choice, I'd take Kean's cancer away from him

in a second, I can see so many good things that have come out of this trial.

We've met and made dear friends with other cancer families, nurses, doctors, volunteers

and strangers who have blessed our lives.

We've been surrounded by a truly staggering amount of support, love and pure kindness.

It has been beautiful to watch.

We've all learned to be more compassionate, less judgmental and more thankful

for the good in our lives, the roses-- not the thorns.

Tiny, spindly legged Kean has become a giant in our eyes.

It is not in his constitution to feel pity.

He rallies from feeling lousy to smiling and playing through

days when most adults I know (including me) would be on the couch whining and whimpering.

I really could go on and on.

While this is a journey I would never wish on anyone-

and I mean anyone.

It is also an experience I can honestly say I am grateful for.

We have all learned to be better people because of this.

At least I hope so.

Yes, we have two years under our belts.

Now 14 more months of Chemo to go.

Oohs and Ahhs

Here's hoping everyone had a fabulous fourth.

We had one of our most favorite ever.

Of course, not many can top five years ago

when I was confined to a hospital bed waiting for Kean to grace

us with his presence.

I found this old blog entry from when we broke out of jail and

sneaked outside to celebrate the fourth after logging 37 of my 75 days

incubating the boy..

It reminds me to never take for granted sitting outside and watching

fireworks.

SUNDAY, JULY 5, 2009

My Great Escape (Day 37)

I did make it out of my room to see fireworks last night. I know, naughty, naughty-- since it was against the fill-in doctor's orders. Byron pushed me in a wheelchair. There were three of us pregnant moms. We went up on the top floor (4th) of the parking garage with a nurse as our escort. I'll admit, I enjoyed being outside in the fresh air more than the perfect view of the fireworks. I haven't been outside since the end of May!!! And it was beautiful last night-- full moon, perfect weather etc. All went well, in fact, when I came back, my blood pressure was the best its been since I've been in here (I have extremely low blood pressure). Must have been the overdose of excitement. I know, I know, it doesn't take much to get me excited these days.

 Here we are five years later... with our happy boy.

He went to bed early and had kind of a rough night 

 but one of these fourths, he'll be out there oohing

and ahhing with the rest of us.

365 days since....

Today marks a dubious anniversary. It was one year ago that I rushed down to St. Luke's hospital to begin my 75 day "staycation". I'm having a hard time believing that so much time has already passed. Guess it shouldn't be too surprising. Kean is getting so big and is 9 months old. Wow.
I'm just thankful that chapter of my life is behind me and that I survived and so importantly, that Kean survived to become such a blessing and joy in our lives. I wish all of you could be around him. There is something very sweet and special about him.
And you know what? I wouldn't change that experience-- as difficult and utterly draining as it was.
I'm a much better person. I learned so much about myself and I learned the true meaning of service from so many of you who I consider to be giants! I learned that miracles happen quite regularly and that the Lord is very much aware of each of us-- our fears, our hopes and our heart's urgent desires.
I learned there is an overwhelming amount of kindness that exists out there-- people from every walk of life and level of society. I learned that in spite of out of control health care costs-- some of the most caring, talented and compassionate nurses, doctors and technicians work right here in Boise, Idaho.
I learned, I learned, I learned and I'm still learning what I learned from that experience.