A Hot Mess

So do you want the good news first or the bad?

We went back for Kean's check up with his ENT specialist.

The Granuloma has finally cleared up after two months of antibiotic drops

in his ear.

That's good.

However, it was covering up what we were checking on in the first place--

the fact that the tube in his ear is dislodged and still in there.

That's bad.

But.... his doc said we can wait another six months, hope it works out on it's own

and avoid surgery.

That's good.

By the way, this snap is before the check up-- before it took FOUR of us

to hold him down.

Trust me, he's stronger than he looks.

Speaking of strong.

I'm so-- not.

Tonight was back to school night at what will be Kean's new school.

His Kindergarten teacher is darling and had each of us go around

and introduce ourselves as so and so's parent.

I stood up, introduced myself and said I was Kean's mom

and sat down.

Mrs. Hymas asked if I would take a minute and tell the parents about

Kean, since they talk about him in class every day.

Oh dear.

I got two sentences in... to the part where he is finishing Chemo

this weekend and starting school on Monday and totally lost it.

That ugly, voice gets tiny and squeaky kind of lost it.

Sometimes I don't recognize myself.

I know come Sunday and Monday - I will be an absolute mess.

So steer clear.

Kean's last dose of chemo-- day number 1,157 is Sunday.

His doctors tell me it will take a good year for his immune system

to get back to normal levels but they don't want to wait to get him

going in school.  So we are starting him the very next day.

We've had numerous meetings (another big one tomorrow) with the school

team and the hospital to prepare for this big transition.

His therapists even helped us make this little book to

get him familiar and ready with his new surroundings.

I tell him this is the bus that will bring him home to me each day.

He'll have an aid on his special bus and he will be belted in.

They suggest I let him take the bus rather than having to transition

down the road from me taking him to him taking the bus.

So we will start Monday morning with many, many big changes.

Part of me is so very excited and part of me is scared to death for him

(and me).